I have got to blog about this latest happening at work. I can’t find a more perfect example of how stupid someone can be. Also, perhaps, a reason why being a good Samaritan might not be worth the time or effort.
I was walking out to the parking lot, to get in my truck to head to Jefferson, when I noticed a trail of motor oil down the center of one of the aisles of the parking lot. This trail of motor oil was a continuous splatter a few feet wide, and curved off to the right where a maroon colored Chevy Astro Van was parked.
This, I had to see.
I walked over to the minivan, and looked underneath it. There was a huge puddle of motor oil underneath the engine, and it was still dripping as I was leaning down looking at it.
I thought to myself, I have to figure out whose vehicle this is, so I can warn them about them losing this huge quantity of oil.
I called Terri (Principal’s secretary) on my cell phone, and reported that there was this minivan in the parking lot with a trail of oil leading to it. She put out a building-wide E-Mail to alert anyone owning this minivan to call her right away.
Everyone I saw in the hallway, I was asking, “Do you know who owns the maroon minivan out in the staff parking lot?” Nobody knew who this mystery parker was. But I was bound and determined to find out, so I could do my good Samaritan deed for the year.
I called Terri again, and she hadn’t received a call from anyone, and no one in the office knew who it could be either.
Finally, I was on the way back from lunch, and a car, once parked near the elusive maroon minivan, was pulling out. I asked the owner, “Do you know who owns that maroon minivan over there?” I finally got my first clue. It could possibly be some guy working in the ESL (English as a second language) department.
I walked back into the Middle School, and once back to the office, I immediately called down to that department. The teacher in the room didn’t know off hand if anyone had a maroon minivan, but she would ask around and get back to me. Later, I received a voice mail that it wasn’t anyone in her area.
At this point, I was desperate. I got out a legal sized piece of paper, and wrote on it in red marker, “Do not start your engine! Oil Leak!”, with an arrow pointing straight down. I went back outside, and placed the note under this now famous minivan’s windshield wiper. I was now determined that the individual that had this Exxon-Valdez sized oil leak under their vehicle would be notified.
I called back to the main office an hour later to see if they had heard anything, and indeed they had! They had found the individual, we’ll call him Mr. Shitshispants, had been located, and was notified of his little car problem.
Ahhhhhh! It felt good to do something that saved someone the expense of a seized engine!
But, alas, this story is not over!
I received a cell-phone call from Andrea, my co-worker and friend, as she was leaving the building. Apparently, there was a vehicle blocking one of the exit lanes of the staff parking lot, with its hood up, two kids wondering around out, and the owner, scratching his head, trying to figure out what was wrong.
YOU GOT IT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IT WAS MR. SHITSHISPANTS, AND THE MAROON COLORED MINIVAN! THIS BLOOMING IDIOT HAD IGNORED A BUILDING-WIDE E-MAIL, A NOTIFICATION FROM THE MAIN OFFICE, A SHEET OF PAPER UNDER HIS WINDSHIELD WIPER, AND AN OBVIOUS 2-FOOT WIDE TRAIL OF OIL LEADING DIRECTLY TO HIS VEHICLE….. AND PROCEEDED TO BACK OUT OF HIS PARKING SPOT, AND HEAD HOME. He made it approximately 25 feet, before his engine stopped.
In case I need to clarify myself further, there was a 2-foot wide trail of oil LEADING to this vehicle, and anyone with eyesight could put 2 and 2 together, and determine that their vehicle might have a SLIGHT problem.
I’ll be damned if I’m helping him anymore. This gentleman is supposed to be a teacher’s helper, and works one-on-one with kids everyday.
If you have a story of extreme stupidity worse (and funnier) than this, please share in my comments below!
